Thy Name is my Healing

Consider how thine heart is cheered, thy soul delighted by the spirit of the love of God....When the thirst grows the bounty of the cloud becomes agreeable to the taste of man. This is the mystery of supplication and the wisdom of stating one’s wants.

I wouldn't call this a script for a movie, like the Wizard of Oz, but I did get a letter from Dorothy Story at CPS indicating that she had no record of the name I was led to believe belonged to a vulnerable girl in the area. So I've carried on by challenging the Elders in our region to name a Directory I built for the Local Missions. They're leading the way with concern for their missing children, and I too lost my own, so I've been trying to help out.

To have complained about the vulnerability of our children is perhaps my first mistake because complaints may be used to justify trafficking, and I have no right to make judgements of that kind, but I was encouraged to sign a petition to end the corporal punishment of children, and like causes of other kinds such as efforts to combat abortion, I'll occasionally voice my concern, or try to provide a way to amend the victims of crime.

In this case, I believed the safest course of action was to leave room for doubt. Not necessarily to play the fall guy, but to be clear that I know no crime well enough to be convicted of it whatsoever. I act out of concern for her vulnerability, and I brought attention to the problem by networking with her community. I believed that if someone was trying to avoid accountability, by being her friend, I might reduce the threat she's facing. Perhaps the most serious problem we face is the fact that there are no boys in The Wizard of Oz: just the girl, and the old men, so the story line is challenged to begin with. And, that because our community has a history of problems like these, we shouldn't be too quick to judge anyone in this regard.

Children may believe dreams to be real - even daydreams, and beliefs held by those of the First Nation and others include the fact that we must live together as One Being. I liken this feature of our landscape as envisioned by Black Elk in the late 1800s as a prediction of what would be made manifest by use of the Internet, so a challenge to the creed, or belief today would be considered by me to be the defamation of a Prophet.

However, a claim that I slept with her in my room must have been based upon a dream, or a vision, or perhaps an effort to refer to someone else who I've mourned the loss of, and wish I could've known better. I reported the statement she made to a safety center, and have done my best to be thorough about my history in order to help others better understand the peculiarities of my loss, and the kinds of problems we encounter whenever anyone from our area tries to describe their childhood - it's typical in this location. And, its already understood that I grieve the loss of someone who's passing grieved me deeply.

That these efforts coincided with a huge offer from a foreign investor shortly later, and that harassment prior to these events forced regular moves, resulted in a business that has become little more than an an archive for a few others who've died trying to do much the same. And the ongoing challenges suggest that required reporting and endless questions may be the cause of the problems we live with, but we are required to do so because our subsidiaries can no longer pay for this service, and we have to operate on living expenses.

Current Events

While I've cover everything I can remember well enough to write, speak or report without doubt, what I seem to be living with are problems that have been created to be solved, or strategized by me without pay. Constructs that are unbearable to live with, and have to be solved don't need to be contracted, but to be disrupted, or expected to operate without adequate resources for our trouble doesn't seem fair.

Efforts to defend my own daughter may have provided the motivation for what may be retaliation, but I'm the concerns I shared with health care personnel for most of my adult life probably have much more to do with our ongoing problems than the behavior of my new friend. Their way of dealing with my concern for what seemed to be the investigation of my own behavior by asking her was to publish the information from the 7th floor of a local Service Agency. So, for me too respond by doing much the same is not wrong. The sincerity of my friend would be heinous to offend. Her story led to a much more clever understanding of my circumstances. When I recruited her mother to help with my publications, a smokey quartz crystal (reputed to help people with addiction) went missing from their household. When I asked her where it went, she said very quietly under her breath: "I gave it to a mouse in the city."

Regarding the Use of Names

My son, a Transgender person has sister, the child I returned to defend. I do not need to refer to her as a trans-sister, but to make use of the ambiguity of our language can be useful. I use this example out of respect for the young girl's clever use of a term to establish an anonymous reference. And, the fact is, I've allied with these machines by use of a computer mouse, and we're pretty good friends after all. It's not wrong for me to have respect for useful things either, so I've made room for at least two possibile meanings of the term: 'a mouse in the city'. (for another example of the limits of language, please see: An Audience Driven Presentation)

The Need to Forgive

Because I had to face the fact that I might be dealing with a gangland scheme to gain access to my person or property, I learned to forgive my mother for the lies of omission we grew up with during the 1960's. The interracial relationship we lived with then was a part of our history that I found very difficult to accept, but her evasiveness on the subject was directly related to the very real danger associated with her behavior. I believe my mother expected me to understand, but forgetfulness would have been a better fate than the hatred we encountered. Today, her affair might be considered a kind of treatment for new mothers (to heal from the damages of giving birth), or a new religion (for the big baby that caused the problem). By facing this crisis, I could finally see how important it was to play it cool, and mind my manners. Please see: Self Examination for more details.

When I was a young man, I was probably considered a hat-sitter. Referred to as number one son, I was not welcome to call-out our traditions or health care professionals for cutting on young boys without their consent.

Some might even say I became excessively preoccupied with scars and missing erectile tissue, so I left to make my way in a more forgiving land, and returned by way of a hate crime scene to become a 'capped hat sitter'. And, I've faced the fact that I may have to live with my charges without relief.

Unfinished Business

Perhaps, a lack of meaningful commitment to The Ten Commandments, or anxious preoccupation with my inadequacies led to what seems to be horrible disruption to my attachments, but I did my best to account for my behavior and avoid passing on what was formally committed and presumably forbidden knowledge, and I'm glad I did. Its clear that trying to charge an offender might've also had something to do with the problems I've encountered, that these constructs may actually be retaliation, but what was tolerable for a boy to investigate might not be as easy to for a girl to understand, tolerate or detach from.

The hazards of my effort to help her weren't apparent to me before I left. Even sending my partners wedding ring didn't seem wrong because it was the only thing of value we had to help her and her mother deal with the situation. I knew using the Internet to report was the plan by then, and I did my best to follow through with it. And I've worked with the limitations we've been provided to play it safe. I'm not trying to distract anyone by referring to the ambiguity of language, or use seemingly random applications of the meanings of names to be confusing. The fact is that we lost our voices when reporting crime, and that we've still required to do so in order to obtain heath care when we're injured as a result. So to limit the use of names seems like a good idea. Unfortunately, the Secretary of State requires an entity to have a structure and a name and that name refers to the person who established it. If a client is unable or unwilling to follow through with these obligations, I'm held responsible. And right now, neither I nor my client can afford to meet these obligations either alone or together.

I used to get a lot of milage out of reporting crime, but the problems that've resulted from my effort to do so today are literally changing the ability of the tools we use to do so. New features of our landscape like CERN have become very important to me because we're trying to solve a double bind. Like those who report genocide, we've had to face the fact that we may die to prove that its happening. And we realize that the more reporting we do, the more motivation there is for criminal interventions.

Stalking continues while we secure the income for professionals, and if we are drugged by them to calm down, we're often unable to account for the problems they're working on, and we aren't aware of the consequences of our reports. We blindly follow instructions while they try to teach us discretion. Officials and authorities paid by the system won't do the reporting for us because we're invalidated by the doctors opinions (and the drugs). The opinion that we're unreliable witnesses may be fabricated just to create a safe environment for suspects, who are conscripted to subsidize the relief. Our plan was to use media to prove what we said was true, but in my case, the media I provided was lost by the professionals. For many others, its been censored.

No Longer Negotiable

For those who are still conscious, or just waking up! Face the fact that secrets are preyed upon, and that it's likely not to stop until we open up. Truth that is commonplace and ordinary sometimes really is the truth, but is frequently doubted and needs to be repeated (sometimes loudly) in order to end suspicions. Assumptions like the idea that we've become the components of a machine are not unlike the idea that we can migrate disenfranchised workers by use of the 'M' Machine (Molock) in the film of Metropolis. Though many have tried by various means to find a suitable vehicle for eternal life, we're not likely to rival the depth of experience, or subtlety of living by digital technology anytime soon. But the persistence of archetypes and virtual visualizations online are already a fact of our lives. And, the web is the best technology ever built for that purpose. I believe the goal is to be transparently at rest with the power of the Creator rather than entangled in an endless struggle to control what's being created, but to loose control of our developments to those who don't understand the dynamics of the medium is heartbreaking, and to be denied the opportunity work with our own material could frame us all.

Forbidden Knowledge

If our work really is nothing but a cover-up, then why haven't we committed more of our time to an argument for the technology of privacy, or control of our work? Why is the focus on disclosure, as in Confessions, or Results. Why is it so difficult for honest people to accept the fact that nothing is so seriously wrong that it can't be amended by telling the truth and setting matters straight. After all this is a 'did-you-tell' revolution, is it not? The problem is that many honest people die trying to do so, and that very few are competently said. We've got to do everything we can to help each other achieve these goals. We write out our concerns, ask for help, and pray for mercy!

When God introduced forgiveness through Christ, God's sons had been accused of offending the children of men, In (Genesis 6) the Bible says He flooded the entire planet to be rid of the corruption of the abomination, and His forgiveness was provided by the power of the Holy Spirit within the Virgin Mary. Why is it wrong to call out one person at a time for similar suspicions?

Perhaps because we still suffer from an inability to evaluate these circumstances, or are awestruck or stunned. I was even rendered unconscious by my witness of questionable situations, and the evidence of the same may be hidden, or censored from our opportunity to bear out of concern for these reactions. To return to the rules of creative endeavor when we're failing isn't wrong, but we do have to accept the fact that a curse followed the work, and we're separated by it. It seems to me, that we've only progressed as far as Babel and are still abiding before the alter at AI because we've been so harassed and disrupted that only a few hours of our full days can used to make progress. How much more will be required before we heal from the trauma and catch-up and serve Him well?


We're mired in ancient problems by complexities that we're not likely to solve without Artificial Intelligence. Even with our best computing we cannot predict what life will do to adapt. Even extremes of male intelligence are not as well prepared to build as a normal females. Add to that the compound disenfranchisement resulting from human judgement and hate, and we'll be completely denied any opportunity to work with the truth at all. Fair trials are challenged because the courts can't tolerate the contempt, and victims can't defend themselves by saying what happened or why.

Like those who live under suspicion, or are banished, or disabled, life goes on by accepting the hatred that exists without confrontation - and - without the blessings of freedom and opportunity that are afforded by more traditional means because we're considered to be deserving of our fate. People who have more to offer are no better or worse than we are, but because they have the power to give, their characters are considered to be better. The fact is that anyone with the power to give would enjoy the same benefits - even a person without merit. Its merely the power to give that counts, not the good character that actually creates it, and when we have nothing left, we become worthless again.

These tools were developed to solve problems, and the Internet became our 'higher court'. And we've been denied civil liberties by guidance, sanctions and suspicions that've resulted in our own poverty. And efforts to protect and defend ourselves with reserves were mismanaged and abused by the disruption and duress of our persons and our places needed to solve the problems others had with our opportunities. We are the real risk takers because no one else could sacrifice the time to do so, but the denial of basic needs, such as: healthy food, clean air and water, peace and quiet, and rest enough to heal for another day requires our problem solving abilities everyday. Its hard to believe there could be another motivation for the interference we live with than the obstruction of justice.

God used the sky to separate the waters in the vaults of the heavens from the waters on earth, and gathered lands to separate land from land on earth, but mists are rising to rain as clouds once again over all lands, and the thirst of man increases as the vessels enlarge - one at a time.